My whole entire life, there is only one thing I have ever wanted from you…and that was to be heard.
To have my needs heard so they could be met.
Not just the basic needs for food, clothing and shelter…
But the deeper needs:
- The need to feel loved.
- The need to feel safe.
- The need to feel seen and accepted for who I really am…..all of me.
- The need to feel supported in all I hoped and dreamed for…especially my vision for the world.
To be heard beyond the physical hearing to the deepest levels and to feel held and supported there:
- when I was afraid but too afraid to speak it.
- when I was feeling alone but dared not admit it.
- when I felt abandoned, rejected, condemned but thought I might die for revealing it.
When I was puzzled because I didn’t fit in, for the simple “infraction” of daring to speak the truth.
To be heard beyond that which is carried by sound:
- when I felt the excruciating pain of being an outsider and the loneliness of always having to find my place in another new world.
- when I was poor and in need of help.
- when I was excruciatingly alone in those years of abuse, where I was silenced and scorned …and when it frightened me to death.
- during the many nights I cried myself to sleep knowing I was completely and utterly alone with not one soul to help me, but myself.
- during the decades of existing in this world only by the sheer force of will.
- during the dark days when it took every force of that will to pull myself out of bed to face another dark day.
- when I found the courage to choose another path, but was terrified nonetheless.
In those fleeting moments of joy when the world stood still and for just that single moment all was right in the world and I could shout to the world that the words he spoke really were true and that everything was indeed made of love.
During the excruciating heartache and loss that nearly broke me a second time…but which against all odds I survived….and after that loss, having to find a new path with absolutely no map to guide me, in a world that was unable to hear the voice of a woman who spoke only the words given to her which were the words of love.
But now, centuries have past and I find that my desire still remains. In a world that is deaf to the call of love, seeking only words that flatter and praise, in a world that has turned its back on the intuitive sensibilities of women, preferring the warring talk of men, in a world that seeks after the material, condemning anything that might speak of sacrifice so that the needs of all might be met, I find still all I really want is to be heard:
To be heard for who I am.
To be heard for the gifts I bring into the world
And to be heard for the message of love that was once shown to me and that I was asked, in the most painful moment of my life, to carry forth into the world.
Will it be in this lifetime that I am finally heard or will humanity perish because of its inability to hear?